i dont hate you but im just not excited about you existence anymore.

sigh.dontknowwhy.feelingprettydown.:(ithurts,paineverything.allshitshappen!again...

received texts from my friend saying: ''your laptop totally dead. cannot be repair anymore...'' blablabla.  how sad. nobody else can help me besides me. asking help?like begging fot mercy... rather help myself. how? i dont know. wait for months and work shit out of it. waiiiittt... just wait will do. no worries :) 

early in the day, argument with him.just a tiny one,an unexpected one,a silly one. for him it may be nothing! for others its may be stupid. but for me, it means all shit of the world to me. i dont know whats the big deal but yea, it is. how sad huh. how pathetic. how desperate i am like my sis said to me. laugh to myself about it but never wake up to reality. only able to laugh and make a joke about myself. dear you, i didnt even bother to ask anymore. i didnt bother to see your profile anymore. i already blocked u from my news feed. im already ignoring the fact. i stop myself from thinking. and why do u have to pop out with the question??? im mad, yes im mad! very mad. asking me why? fork off.... fine! im fine without you. i will be.no question no more care. thats it... all game u played, im sick of it. acting like you dont know, keep it up! dont pretend u are sorry and i know you're not.

staying ''positive'' i always be. faker much. grrr~ forever la i fake a smile and just move on. otherwise, people will always think im so super depress and desperate. lols how sad is that huh. there's a lot reason i can be happy blablablabla ^$^%$^&*^%# hear all those a lot. seriously, a lot! but at the end, i would rather be depress and emo all 24/7.... being with just me and me. loneliness kill me,100% and thats good. rather be ''dead'' than alive cause when im alive i talk shit and people hate me more. sooooo,yeah! ignore me.ignore allllllll you like! im immune with it already.  you.you,you, all of you! no big deal! 

people around me sure very sick of my attitude right? lol. sorry but cant help it... more shits coming. just wait  and see.. 

people who are having happiness now, hold it with you as long as u could.
happy happiness to all of you who have it. those not have any yet, keep searching.
just as long dont be so shitty as i do.
happy searching! :))
love,
brokenheartedme.