HAPPY 龙 YEAR! :)

spent half my day making those in the office. mode totally off for working already. since yesterday again. hehe... cause..Chinese New Year is like 2 days away la people. boss, why u no give free holiday?? duuhhh~ anywy, yea... i made those fan. plan to deco it on my wall? or hand it somewhere... for some reason, i like it very much. not because i made it but...i dont know why too... just love it. haha. nice right?  saw Daniel's mom made it... and she showed me the tutorial for it...so yea, feeling so tempted to try. since mom got so many old old red packets, i help her use up...cause she got new collection already. :D and someone gave mom with ''dragon'' word on it. so i made a pair... one with ''luck'' another one with ''dragon''... 

look what my working table turn into... hohoho~ ''steal bone'' today. kinda la... sick of working already o.o 2 more days to go... ohh problems, please get away from me. far far away so i can enjoy my 1 week CNY holiday peacefully. no war please. i just want a calm and peaceful celebration... TQ~ :)

excited for the eve. gonna be lots of makans with the family... another family reunion. tho there's something in between but i still glad that we still reunite on this very important festival. at least we still able to sit down together on the round table and eat,right? lots of lots of unnecessary argument often occur and i hope those unnecessary will just get away for this one time. i really want to feel the love and all. no hatreds no anger... Dear God, make me strong and fight those evil feeling of mine... let me love one another like how you love me. 

excited excited! :D two more days to roll and lots more things not done yet... trololololol.... good luck! haha. this whole week been sleeping really late and yes, am super tired. geez. =.= 

HAVE A BLESSED LOOOOOOOONG WEEKEND PEOPLE.

BE SAFE ON THE ROAD. PLAY SAFE! EAT SAFE! :)))

advance wish to all who celebrating CNY,

HAPPY 龙 YEAR! :)

MAY THIS YEAR OF DRAGON BRING MORE PROSPERITY, GOOD HEALTH AND HAPPINESS TO ALL OF U...

GONG HEI FATT CHOI!! 

dong dong chiang....

human nature...

as time goes by, no matter what that person ever say, he/she will eventually change.
that is true. trust me...sigh. im not sad but just disappointed. well, human nature. what to do...

and do u know where is the best hotel in Miri? affordable... can say that you dont even have to pay a single cent. stay in just for free. buffet provided. no worries about your laundry. best location.everything provided.lol. pm me to know more. :) afraid more and more people rush to check in. i might lose my chance.

older people nowadays always get mad at me. i dont understand why. so wrong for me to say what i feel like? wrong for me to express myself? wrong for me to be me? sorry that im being so ridiculous... cant help it. post me far far away if you want. give you more peace. i have no expression or feeling for you? shall i just fake a smile on my face tho i dont like it? maybe shall just send me to Hospital Mesra. right? lols. funny eih how people hate me so much when im like this. 250% hates to me. bravo!!!

sigh. its not that i want to be like this. its just out of my control. *bullshit i know* but hey come on ba. sometimes it just burst out just like that. human nature as i said early on. i tried to control but shits still the same. so yea... i know sorry means nothing especially for someone shitty like me. its alright. i myself sick of it too...im sick of being me. im tired being like this.
being ignored.
nobody want to talk to you.
people see you like an asshole.
already lonely, tambah lonely.
f8cking lonely ass*call me desperate all you want*
#foreveralone. trololololololololo fml

that aint fun okay. pfftt...pathetic life im living.

see that pathetic face?

that's pathetic me.

:)

fml.

thanks.

bye.

walk away~

We once leaned on each other's shoulder but now we are walking our own paths amongst the crowd...

i realized that im getting more and more lazy to think.about whatever it may be.sometimes when i think too much, it will divert to other thing which i never want to think about at the first place. sometimes when i dont think, people will for sure say i dont put effort blablabla... what la i should do? i also dont know. 


my morning wasnt that good today. nobody fault,its all my fault. i dont know why it just swing. ==,''

random craps i wanna say

Happy New Year 2012... i know im late. i know im slow... yaya... im 2 weeks away already... lalalablablabla... so so sorry about it! : D  so,yea. 2012 is here already. how fast is that. pfft... 2011 been pretty OKAY to me. not that good,not that bad. just nice. :) hopefully 2012 will be better tho the start of it's not like what i wanted it to be. anywayy...:) *silent*  .......may this NEW YEAR be more wiser,loving,sweet for you all.. :)) 

everyone is talking about their 2012 resolution and whats mine? hmm...well, one of it,the one below:

to lose a pound a week

1) Stick to water only( no juisces etc)

2) Keep your last meal 3 hours before you sleep

3) take the stairs if your office is betweek the 1-5 level

4) Have a good breakfast

5)exercise at least 3 times a week

pffttt...not. lols. wait till the day come ya. :)  hopefully la. God's willing. ^^,

secondly, work well and save money for myself so i can enjoy, always so jealous of how others can enjoy themselves so much but i can't. now, i wanna give myself a chance to do so. just wait!

and,its funny how human can be sometimes. their expression and words... hmm. just dont understand sometimes. when you try to talk, they go like *&$*#(%$#@# to you. when u try to be silent, they go like, ''hey,whats wrong with you?'' blablabla... =$ weird eih?im thinking they are weird but im 100% sure that they are thinking about me the same thing. saying me problem shit. funny right? i just dont understand and never will be. and one thing i keep thinking,''So why want me to be back so badly?''...  :( sometimes i just feeling so unwanted here with that attitude. sigh. its not me thinking to much and being ridiculous but its just affect me. sorry la for being so sensitive but its just me. continue dont talk to me if u dont feel like. if only i have closet that can fits me in... i will keep myself away from u... =.= pfftttt....

work like almost everyday except half of Saturday and Sunday. tiring of waking up early not the work. ish... miss my sleep so much and only got the chance to really sleep in on Sunday. but the problem with me is, i have to admit this la, i dont like to sleep early and waking up early. how la like that. tomorrow monday again. FML much. :(

craving so much lately and thats bad... firstly, no money to fulfill my craving... second, nobody want to sponsor me. :( basically the same la right. lol. sad thing!

especially this. :(( tho i had it already but i want MORE!!!!

count the blessings,dont discount it. :)

i know this gonna be verrrrrrrry random and awkward. but yea, i post it up. my life throughout the years. 3 years back? ever since i left high school. ups and downs i been through... its not the end yet. there's more to come, i believe and im excited for it! good or bad, bring it on! that all makes me grow and be stronger. either in good way or bad way. neither. ('',)

July 2009 - first time ever in my whole life. the one i love the most,the one i respect much, the one that always there for me when i cry, left me forever. Grandpa,RIP. miss you deeply. tho with all the scolding or shouting all the time but i believe all is filled with love. :) always keep all the memories in mind.

thats grandpa and me.

look at his smile. i miss it.. :')

August 2009 - it was once very happy and like fairytale. but everything fade away just like as if nothing happen before. wind blow.....

everything just go blur already.

ohhh well.... :))) im good now.

March 2010 - all the late night talk on the phone. 2-3 hours. seeing each other almost everyday. doing what other lovers do but we definitely not a lover. the care and love is there. companion 24/7. reporting to each other every seconds about every move. share happiness and sadness. festives season and birthday together. just one awesome moments. the talk,the joke,the laugh,the madness,anger...we do it together for months...but... in that month,things just change. everything turns so cold suddenly.  :(

his...

this was the last time we met.miss the moment very very much.

every single seconds of it. 

now,there's no one like you i can share with already.

i still miss you.

if i could, i would wanna turn back the time and just freeze there.

*pfft...emo much. but true. i want to... :')

thanks for the memories. xoxox

July 2010 - where once a very very good friends. turns into stranger in a second because of one bt*ch! >=/ never forget what this friend of mine ever said to me. the one friendship which i really miss... anyway, will always remember ups n downs we been thru together in college. 

miss the fun time hang out together. all the sharing.

:))

April 2011 - my 21st. everything is just so random. didnt turn out how i wish it to be. the one i wanted is not there with me. but thanks God, those who loves me still there for me. best birthday ever. didnt ask for much. present dont count but the one who is there for me really count. love you all heaps! each and everyone of u. :) thanks for making my 21st such a great memories in my life. simple but yet meaningful.

altogether i got like 6 celebration? advanced,on the day and belated. 

oh tell me how i not love them.

they gave me happiness.

God bless you all!! xoxox

much love from me! :'))

Jun 2011 - Not forgetting and never will. best time of my life with my college mate. also with my besties...who stand for me all the time. we fight for this war together.been thru a lot of good and bad time together. they are the one bring me up when i fall... and, we manage to be in the 1st runner up of UNITAR Business Plan competition. first time achieving such success in my life. forever in my mind. 11.06.2011. 

July 2011 - the day i waited for so long! ever since 2005? finally manage to have personal picture with him. the wait is worthwhile! Daniel Lee. he's all im talking about. met him again and thats the closest i shall say compared to back in 2007. he got an angel's voice. beautiful... :)  his new album will be out soon! hopefully within this month. so i can get myself a wonderful Xmas present ever! :)))

all the crap shyt happened in my life. had lots of fun with it. more to come. haha...

LOTS OF LOVE! :)))

i dont hate you but im just not excited about you existence anymore.

sigh.dontknowwhy.feelingprettydown.:(ithurts,paineverything.allshitshappen!again...

received texts from my friend saying: ''your laptop totally dead. cannot be repair anymore...'' blablabla.  how sad. nobody else can help me besides me. asking help?like begging fot mercy... rather help myself. how? i dont know. wait for months and work shit out of it. waiiiittt... just wait will do. no worries :) 

early in the day, argument with him.just a tiny one,an unexpected one,a silly one. for him it may be nothing! for others its may be stupid. but for me, it means all shit of the world to me. i dont know whats the big deal but yea, it is. how sad huh. how pathetic. how desperate i am like my sis said to me. laugh to myself about it but never wake up to reality. only able to laugh and make a joke about myself. dear you, i didnt even bother to ask anymore. i didnt bother to see your profile anymore. i already blocked u from my news feed. im already ignoring the fact. i stop myself from thinking. and why do u have to pop out with the question??? im mad, yes im mad! very mad. asking me why? fork off.... fine! im fine without you. i will be.no question no more care. thats it... all game u played, im sick of it. acting like you dont know, keep it up! dont pretend u are sorry and i know you're not.

staying ''positive'' i always be. faker much. grrr~ forever la i fake a smile and just move on. otherwise, people will always think im so super depress and desperate. lols how sad is that huh. there's a lot reason i can be happy blablablabla ^$^%$^&*^%# hear all those a lot. seriously, a lot! but at the end, i would rather be depress and emo all 24/7.... being with just me and me. loneliness kill me,100% and thats good. rather be ''dead'' than alive cause when im alive i talk shit and people hate me more. sooooo,yeah! ignore me.ignore allllllll you like! im immune with it already.  you.you,you, all of you! no big deal! 

people around me sure very sick of my attitude right? lol. sorry but cant help it... more shits coming. just wait  and see.. 

people who are having happiness now, hold it with you as long as u could.
happy happiness to all of you who have it. those not have any yet, keep searching.
just as long dont be so shitty as i do.
happy searching! :))
love,
brokenheartedme.